Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Thoughts

more words than i
had ever heard
and i
feel so alive

cuz you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others just
read of
and if you could see me now
love love
you and i
not so little anymore

this song reminds me of too much. there was once some one i knew, someone who i've known for quite some time now, but used to know much better at one point than right now. we used to talk about our dreams and our futures, me of travel, him of success. thoughts that captured our minds, thoughts that gripped our days and filled our dreams. this was some time ago tho.

but see, he never believed i would do it. he said, youre never gonna leave here, youre always gonna stay here, with us, with me. i would laugh. he would laugh. id keep dreaming, he would keep trying to figure out ways to get rich and successful. to him, money made the world go around. it probably still does, who knows. to me, love made the world go around. it still does. travel, exploration, dreams, experiences, all make my world go around.

i wonder today if the time i spent traveling last year sort of proved to him. did it? who knows. we're in different worlds now, his full of great things, successes and financial districts. he's on his way to accomplishing his dreams. i've done a little bit, but not much, probably not as much as him. but i did it. im happy, content. i wonder if he is too. i didnt do it for him, or anyone else, i did it for me, for my dreams.

but this isnt about a boy. this is about dreams and love and realizing these dreams and loves and continuing to dream and love and realize those new dreams and loves and so on and so forth. once, recently, i reminded him of our talks long ago, and how ive finally started doing what i always said i would do. except we dont talk much now. and i realize that life is too short to be wondering what he still thinks of me, of my dreams.

it also occurs to me that this post probably doesnt make any sense. but im putting it out here, out into the void that is this world. just cuz it needs to be said.

(You and I Both - Jason Mraz)

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