Ramadan reflection from this summer in London:
Just when you completely want to disappear in the background, you don't want to be identified, you don't want to be recognized as anyone or anything, the coffee barrista asks you if you're fasting. He doesn't look particularly Muslim but sympathizes with the long days. Says you look so energetic! I tell him I've sat at home the whole day and took the day off. We laugh a bit. As I walk away I want to turn back and tell him everything about how awesome fasting is this year, fasting for the soul truly, not feeling the long days. I want to go back and tell him a better version of the story. But I realize that I told him the truth and that's enough. Its enough for me to recognize my humanity. Fasting is hard, no need to make it sound glamorous. But him just taking the time to ask and see how I've been doing and make me smile about it, that was also enough. Enough to realize that I do want to be recognized. I want to open that door for dialogue and discussion. If people associate hijab with something then that is their issue not mine. I'm not going to change who I am because someone has a misconception about who I am or how I am. It doesn't concern me. I'd rather have honest curiosity than live in the invisible background for the rest of my life.
Just when you completely want to disappear in the background, you don't want to be identified, you don't want to be recognized as anyone or anything, the coffee barrista asks you if you're fasting. He doesn't look particularly Muslim but sympathizes with the long days. Says you look so energetic! I tell him I've sat at home the whole day and took the day off. We laugh a bit. As I walk away I want to turn back and tell him everything about how awesome fasting is this year, fasting for the soul truly, not feeling the long days. I want to go back and tell him a better version of the story. But I realize that I told him the truth and that's enough. Its enough for me to recognize my humanity. Fasting is hard, no need to make it sound glamorous. But him just taking the time to ask and see how I've been doing and make me smile about it, that was also enough. Enough to realize that I do want to be recognized. I want to open that door for dialogue and discussion. If people associate hijab with something then that is their issue not mine. I'm not going to change who I am because someone has a misconception about who I am or how I am. It doesn't concern me. I'd rather have honest curiosity than live in the invisible background for the rest of my life.
