A little old couple
Holding hands
Walking down the street
Making plans
And while they walked so slow
And held up the alleyway
No one seemed to mind
Watching them
Stole my mind
Caught my breath
Held my eyes
They took a walk today
To their old streets
Sat in the park in the square
Where they used to meet
She whispered a story
Of once upon a time
We sat near the cool pool
At the foot of that sand dune
You lay your head on my lap
And we watched the clouds float past
Do you remember that my love?
And so they sat in the park
My little old couple
He lay his head on her lap
And as they watched the clouds float past
All that needed to be said
Was spoken in just
One moment
One lifetime
Of silence.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Quotes
Exhale only love. -Rumi
Traveling leaves you speechless - then turns you into a storyteller. - Ibn Battuta
Traveling leaves you speechless - then turns you into a storyteller. - Ibn Battuta
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Hierarchy: London
The transport hierarchy in central London is simple enough.
The double decker buses are at the top of the food chain. The buses rule the roads. They don't care about anyone or anything in their way. The buses are out to get the cabs. The cab drivers are rude and in a hurry. They're trying to get past the huge buses. The cabbies are out to get the cyclists. The cyclists are everywhere. Scurrying left right and center. You don't see them until they're past you. The cyclists are out to get the pedestrians. The pedestrians. The lowly pedestrians are huffing and puffing their way down the sidewalks. They try to cross the streets without dying. Finally, the pedestrians are out to get the tourists, those people who decide to take painstakingly slow strolls at lunch and rush hours on Oxford Street and hold up the whole population.
And the tourists have no bloody idea of this whole mess.
Know your place and stick to it. Any deviants will not be tolerated. This is a well oiled machine my friends.
The double decker buses are at the top of the food chain. The buses rule the roads. They don't care about anyone or anything in their way. The buses are out to get the cabs. The cab drivers are rude and in a hurry. They're trying to get past the huge buses. The cabbies are out to get the cyclists. The cyclists are everywhere. Scurrying left right and center. You don't see them until they're past you. The cyclists are out to get the pedestrians. The pedestrians. The lowly pedestrians are huffing and puffing their way down the sidewalks. They try to cross the streets without dying. Finally, the pedestrians are out to get the tourists, those people who decide to take painstakingly slow strolls at lunch and rush hours on Oxford Street and hold up the whole population.
And the tourists have no bloody idea of this whole mess.
Know your place and stick to it. Any deviants will not be tolerated. This is a well oiled machine my friends.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Important question
Q: How can you be traveling alone, isn't that not allowed in your religion or something?
I can't tell you how many times Ive gotten this question from Muslims and non-Muslims. And to be honest, Im quite tired of answering it again and again, so Im writing it down for reference.
Short answer: It is permissible for Muslim woman of any responsible age to travel alone.
Long answer: (warning: this is a technical answer)
Point 1:
Islam is based on your intentions as well as your actions. You can not have sound intentions, but knowingly do wrong actions, and you always have to have pure intentions for anything that you might do. If you have good and pure intentions for something, but the act leads to a negative consequence, even though you tried your best, then you learn from it and try not to repeat it. If you have good intentions and your action turns out good, then you are rewarded. If you have bad intentions and go about doing a bad action, then you are negatively rewarded for it. If you have bad intentions, but something good comes out of it, even though you tried to do bad, then you will be rewarded for the action and not the intention. Therefore, it is important to always have sincere intentions in everything we do, not only religious acts of worship, but every movement. It is a way to remind ourselves of the fact that we are here to worship.
If you are Muslim, you will most probably already know this. This was related as Imam Al Nawawi's first hadeeth of the 40 most important hadeeths (sayings) by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Please see Hadeeth 1 on this website: http://www.livingislam.org/n/intn_e.html
Are you still with me?
Ok cool.
Point 2:
A human being is created to worship God. (Quran 51:56 "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.") There is absolutely no other reason to be here. A woman was not created to give birth to children. A woman was not created to complete a man. There is only one purpose for every human being and that is to worship God. Worship comes in many different forms. In every act we do, there should be an element of worship. If a woman chooses to educate herself by going to university, there is worship in that. If a woman chooses to raise children, there is worship in that. We were created to worship. And we were given a brain to make choices.
Point 3:
Men and women are equal in front of God. (Quran 3:195 "I shall not lose sight of the labor of any of you who labors in My way, be it man or woman; each of you is equal to the other"). There is no difference between a man and a woman in front of God in terms of actions and deeds and worship. If there is a physiological difference, then that is only intended for the reasons of potential procreation here in this life (in this dunya). In reasoning, spiritual, religious, responsibility, accountability, and all aspects of life, there is no difference. The fact that purely cultural traditions have inflicted horrendous breaches of inequality - (dis)honour killings, forced marriages, prescribed dress codes - does not mean that these things have anything to do with Islam. Please get to know the difference between embedded cultural traditions which differ (in good and bad) from each region to region, and the true definitions of Islam.
Point 4:
The Prophet, peace be upon him, gave the good news that women will one day be able to travel alone:
Adeey b. Hâtim narrated:
I was beside to the Messenger of Allah. A man came and complained for his poverty. Later, another one came and complained for the bandits that waylaid people in order to rub them. The Messenger of Allah said:
- “Adeey, have you seen Heerah?”
- No. I have not seen, but I heard about it.
- “If you would live long enoungh, you will see a woman, inside her strongbox over the camel, traveling from Heerah at Ka’ba for pilgrimage, without fearing from anything, except Allah.” He said.
I was surprised and I said to myself: “What with the bandits of Tai tribe, those who fired the sedition and mischief all over the towns?…
Adeey continued his words: I saw the woman traveling from Heereh and walking around Ka’ba, without fearing from anyone, except Allah. (Bukhari, Stories, 25)
(Heereh: İt is a town established over a meadow near Euphrate, in the South-East of Kinidre, which is 5 km in South of Kufe, between Kufe and Havernak, today related to the province of Nejaf in İraq.)
In this hadeeth, the Prophet was claiming that there will come a time when women will be able to travel alone and safely without fear of anything or anyone but God.
Point 5:
There is a concept in Islam called Ijtihad. It is when Islamic rulings, those that are neither in the realm of halal (permissible) or haram (forbidden), and those that are not prescribed rituals, are studied in their current context by knowledgeable scholars. The issue of Muslim women traveling alone has been regarded by many knowledgeable and modern day scholars who have permitted the traveling of women alone, given that her safety will be taken into consideration. These new rulings were given in many fatwas which can be found online. For example: Sheikh Yusuf Al Qaradawi, a prominent Islamic scholar, said the following:
"If security is guaranteed and fear is no more present, a woman may travel, particularly nowadays when travel has become easy, whether by air, train or coach. In all these means of transportation, company is available and security is realized for the Muslim woman."
This is from the European Council of Fatwa and Research (http://www.islamopediaonline.org/fatwa/european-council-fatwa-and-research-question-women-traveling-alone-not-un-marriageable-kin).
This website also has a comprehensive view on the matter: http://www.islamandquran.org/fatwas/the-traveling-of-the-woman-without-mahram.html (read to the end)
All this being said, there are numerous hadith that did primarily state it as being unpermissible for women to travel alone, due to the lack of security and due to the context that the Prophet lived in: in the Arabian desert fifteen hundred years ago. However, many prominent and very learned scholars have stated that should the woman take her safety precautions, it is permissible to travel alone.
Conclusion:
I believe that we can put these five previous points together:
If we add having pure intentions in all that we do (point 1), the purpose of worship in all that we do (point 2), the equality of men and women in the eyes of God (point 3), with the good news that the Prophet gave about women being able to travel alone in the future (point 4), as well as the contextualized ijtihad of current learned scholars (point 5), then I think we can conclude that women are indeed permitted to travel alone.
Important note:
I am not a scholar. Please do your own research on this topic and follow what you believe to be correct using your reason and your heart. I have simply provided the reasons that I have come to my own conclusion, which also happens to be an opinion shared by many. If there are parents who believe that their girls should not travel alone, then there might be other issues, such as a lack of trust or not identifying the girl as being responsible or independent enough. However, I believe that a woman of age, should be able to make her own reasonable decisions, given the advice of loved ones and of trusted mentors/scholars. Once again, this is a blog post, not a fatwa.
Finally:
Honestly, I will defend this right to freedom and independence until the day I die because it is so central to who I am and what I believe in. So there it is. I have said it. And Allah knows best :)
I can't tell you how many times Ive gotten this question from Muslims and non-Muslims. And to be honest, Im quite tired of answering it again and again, so Im writing it down for reference.
Short answer: It is permissible for Muslim woman of any responsible age to travel alone.
Long answer: (warning: this is a technical answer)
Point 1:
Islam is based on your intentions as well as your actions. You can not have sound intentions, but knowingly do wrong actions, and you always have to have pure intentions for anything that you might do. If you have good and pure intentions for something, but the act leads to a negative consequence, even though you tried your best, then you learn from it and try not to repeat it. If you have good intentions and your action turns out good, then you are rewarded. If you have bad intentions and go about doing a bad action, then you are negatively rewarded for it. If you have bad intentions, but something good comes out of it, even though you tried to do bad, then you will be rewarded for the action and not the intention. Therefore, it is important to always have sincere intentions in everything we do, not only religious acts of worship, but every movement. It is a way to remind ourselves of the fact that we are here to worship.
If you are Muslim, you will most probably already know this. This was related as Imam Al Nawawi's first hadeeth of the 40 most important hadeeths (sayings) by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Please see Hadeeth 1 on this website: http://www.livingislam.org/n/intn_e.html
Are you still with me?
Ok cool.
Point 2:
A human being is created to worship God. (Quran 51:56 "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.") There is absolutely no other reason to be here. A woman was not created to give birth to children. A woman was not created to complete a man. There is only one purpose for every human being and that is to worship God. Worship comes in many different forms. In every act we do, there should be an element of worship. If a woman chooses to educate herself by going to university, there is worship in that. If a woman chooses to raise children, there is worship in that. We were created to worship. And we were given a brain to make choices.
Point 3:
Men and women are equal in front of God. (Quran 3:195 "I shall not lose sight of the labor of any of you who labors in My way, be it man or woman; each of you is equal to the other"). There is no difference between a man and a woman in front of God in terms of actions and deeds and worship. If there is a physiological difference, then that is only intended for the reasons of potential procreation here in this life (in this dunya). In reasoning, spiritual, religious, responsibility, accountability, and all aspects of life, there is no difference. The fact that purely cultural traditions have inflicted horrendous breaches of inequality - (dis)honour killings, forced marriages, prescribed dress codes - does not mean that these things have anything to do with Islam. Please get to know the difference between embedded cultural traditions which differ (in good and bad) from each region to region, and the true definitions of Islam.
Point 4:
The Prophet, peace be upon him, gave the good news that women will one day be able to travel alone:
Adeey b. Hâtim narrated:
I was beside to the Messenger of Allah. A man came and complained for his poverty. Later, another one came and complained for the bandits that waylaid people in order to rub them. The Messenger of Allah said:
- “Adeey, have you seen Heerah?”
- No. I have not seen, but I heard about it.
- “If you would live long enoungh, you will see a woman, inside her strongbox over the camel, traveling from Heerah at Ka’ba for pilgrimage, without fearing from anything, except Allah.” He said.
I was surprised and I said to myself: “What with the bandits of Tai tribe, those who fired the sedition and mischief all over the towns?…
Adeey continued his words: I saw the woman traveling from Heereh and walking around Ka’ba, without fearing from anyone, except Allah. (Bukhari, Stories, 25)
(Heereh: İt is a town established over a meadow near Euphrate, in the South-East of Kinidre, which is 5 km in South of Kufe, between Kufe and Havernak, today related to the province of Nejaf in İraq.)
In this hadeeth, the Prophet was claiming that there will come a time when women will be able to travel alone and safely without fear of anything or anyone but God.
Point 5:
There is a concept in Islam called Ijtihad. It is when Islamic rulings, those that are neither in the realm of halal (permissible) or haram (forbidden), and those that are not prescribed rituals, are studied in their current context by knowledgeable scholars. The issue of Muslim women traveling alone has been regarded by many knowledgeable and modern day scholars who have permitted the traveling of women alone, given that her safety will be taken into consideration. These new rulings were given in many fatwas which can be found online. For example: Sheikh Yusuf Al Qaradawi, a prominent Islamic scholar, said the following:
"If security is guaranteed and fear is no more present, a woman may travel, particularly nowadays when travel has become easy, whether by air, train or coach. In all these means of transportation, company is available and security is realized for the Muslim woman."
This is from the European Council of Fatwa and Research (http://www.islamopediaonline.org/fatwa/european-council-fatwa-and-research-question-women-traveling-alone-not-un-marriageable-kin).
This website also has a comprehensive view on the matter: http://www.islamandquran.org/fatwas/the-traveling-of-the-woman-without-mahram.html (read to the end)
All this being said, there are numerous hadith that did primarily state it as being unpermissible for women to travel alone, due to the lack of security and due to the context that the Prophet lived in: in the Arabian desert fifteen hundred years ago. However, many prominent and very learned scholars have stated that should the woman take her safety precautions, it is permissible to travel alone.
Conclusion:
I believe that we can put these five previous points together:
If we add having pure intentions in all that we do (point 1), the purpose of worship in all that we do (point 2), the equality of men and women in the eyes of God (point 3), with the good news that the Prophet gave about women being able to travel alone in the future (point 4), as well as the contextualized ijtihad of current learned scholars (point 5), then I think we can conclude that women are indeed permitted to travel alone.
Important note:
I am not a scholar. Please do your own research on this topic and follow what you believe to be correct using your reason and your heart. I have simply provided the reasons that I have come to my own conclusion, which also happens to be an opinion shared by many. If there are parents who believe that their girls should not travel alone, then there might be other issues, such as a lack of trust or not identifying the girl as being responsible or independent enough. However, I believe that a woman of age, should be able to make her own reasonable decisions, given the advice of loved ones and of trusted mentors/scholars. Once again, this is a blog post, not a fatwa.
Finally:
Honestly, I will defend this right to freedom and independence until the day I die because it is so central to who I am and what I believe in. So there it is. I have said it. And Allah knows best :)
On Balance
(The view from the train window, somewhere between Fez and Marrakesh, Morocco, October 2010)Let me tell you a story, in three parts.
Scene: Two weeks in Morocco, end of the fall, 2010. No, this is not a story about love. Well, not that kind of love anyways.
Part 1
Often, when people ask me what my favorite country or city is, I say (after mentioning that all places are beautiful): Fez or Singapore. Singapore because it’s basically incredible. Fez, in Morocco, because it feels like I left a part of me there. I only spent three days in Fez, lovely magical Fez. I would wake up early in the new downtown area, in a shabby little hostel run by a creepy middle aged man. I would make my way over to the old medina souq, often walking the whole hour there. The medinal ateeqa (“ancient city”) is the oldest, largest, still in tact and fully operating souq in the world. It’s absolutely huge and loud, colourful and smelly, with the narrowest streets, and the tiniest shops and stalls. I would spend the day ambling and getting lost in the souq, getting heckled to buy something, messing up the still-wet henna on my hands, taking a calligraphy class, having tea in an old minaret that’s now a cafe. And then, I would find myself at the centre of this incredible mess: praying in the oldest established and longest running university in the world: Masjid al Karawiyyin. Listening to the birds chirruping, the water flowing, the people reciting Quran. And then, I would see my friend. Someone I met in Turkey, a long time ago, we barely spoke the same language, we came from opposite ends of every world imaginable. And yet, exploring another person’s mind never felt so good.
Part two:
I remember feeling such sadness and isolation. I left Fez and took an eight hour train ride to Marrakech. It was one of the strangest eight hours of my life. So many thoughts and conflicting ideas going round and round, and nothing to keep me company except the most beautiful countryside scenery outside. That train ride is embedded in my mind. I will never forget those three skinny cows grazing on the grass in a farm on a rolling hill as the train ambled past.
Part three:
I spent three days in Marrakech. Bustling, insane, absolutely bonkers yet beautiful Marrakech. I went to the Jam al Fena, the huge open courtyard, that gathers thousands upon thousands of people every night of the year, in a mish mash of street food, story tellers, magicians, cobra charmers, belly dancers, souq. I rode behind a girlfriend on her vespa all over town. I experienced a real and very steamy women’s hammam, the local traditional bathing house. The Yves St Laurent garden, planted, designed and inspired by the man himself, in all it’s glory. I played with the kitten on the street. And then, a friend took me home and introduced me to his family. Harmless harmless introduction. Accompanied with homemade Moroccan bread and couscous and probably the kindest and most genuine host family I’ve met in a while. Needless to say, I feel in love with Moroccan food in Marrakech. And after it all, I took a train back to Rabat to say goodbye to some friends, have a last cup of my favorite tea in the world, and to go on to Mauritania. Before I left, I got an email from my friend in Marrakech. It was an honest and beautiful message. Full of potentialities and courageousness.
Epilogue
This is not a love story. This is a story about love. Not the mushy lovey stuff that turns your brain into baby food. It is Love for another person’s spirit. Unwarranted, on any side. Unasked for, on both sides. Undeniably inevitable. Love for all the potential possibilities. Love for the Love.
Yet, it still amazes me, that in all the time I spent in Morocco, in Rabat, Casablanca, Meknes, Fez, and Marrakech, and all the soul-defying experiences I had and beautiful souls I met - it is those three skinny grass-eating cows in the countryside that continue to stick with me wherever I go. Every time I think of Morocco, I remember that train ride. That in-between day, filled with neither heres nor theres. And when I look back at it now, I realize that it was that train ride which was the mid-point of the see-saw. There is balance in everything we do, but why do we often enjoy letting ourselves teeter and totter here and there? That train ride was the ability to give love and receive love, it was the ability to not pursue either and yet find the balance in between.
And to just keep appreciating that balance.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
On writers
"It’s quite bizarre. Most writers are solitary beings who wrote because they were sent to sit in the margins for too long and now suddenly they’re thrown into the light where their straggly hair and obscure ideas are celebrated."
I came across this interesting article called The glamourisation of the writer. Enjoy: http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/readerblog/2012/02/22/the-glamourisation-of-the-writer/
I came across this interesting article called The glamourisation of the writer. Enjoy: http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/readerblog/2012/02/22/the-glamourisation-of-the-writer/
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Pitter patter rain
Pirate gypsy wayfaring soul.
There is something about gentle morning rain that makes me think about life and choices and life's choices.
The more I try to define You, the less I know.
The pieces are starting to come back together again, but they still like to tumble around, bouncing on the walls, doing somersaults. Like a child who can't get enough, can't even stop. Coeur d'enfant. Coeur de pirate. Take what you can, rummage around, find what's lost, and bring it back again. But above all else, just keep going.
Now bring me that horizon.
Bring me my horizon.
There is something about gentle morning rain that makes me think about life and choices and life's choices.
The more I try to define You, the less I know.
The pieces are starting to come back together again, but they still like to tumble around, bouncing on the walls, doing somersaults. Like a child who can't get enough, can't even stop. Coeur d'enfant. Coeur de pirate. Take what you can, rummage around, find what's lost, and bring it back again. But above all else, just keep going.
Now bring me that horizon.
Bring me my horizon.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Change
It continues to amaze me how completely and utterly petrified of change some people are. Someone recently called me an indecisive five-year-old. I've been thinking about getting my nose re-pierced recently but I haven't made a final decision yet, wavering between actually wanting that pierce again, and not being bothered to go through that pain all over again. And this person bluntly said to me: you just keep changing your mind and you can never decide on anything. This person was making a general statement about my life.
Excuse me? Yes, I enjoy living a spontaneous life. I enjoy not having a boring routine. I enjoy moving from one place to another. I enjoy having new and exciting experiences. This does not mean that I live life without goals or ambitions. It does not mean that I am indecisive or that I don't stick with my plans. Once I set my mind to something, anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I will get it done. And this person saying these things to me was someone who supposedly knows me well. So why the misguided statement?
Guess what. I find the concept of change to be an exciting one. Not scary, not unstable, not useless, not without aims or ambitions or faith or love or joy. In fact, I seek change.
Do not pity me because I have wholeheartedly embraced positive change. I understand that maybe we won't see eye to eye on this matter. But I hope, for your sake, that one day you will learn to see the beauty that exists in the difference of ideas.
Excuse me? Yes, I enjoy living a spontaneous life. I enjoy not having a boring routine. I enjoy moving from one place to another. I enjoy having new and exciting experiences. This does not mean that I live life without goals or ambitions. It does not mean that I am indecisive or that I don't stick with my plans. Once I set my mind to something, anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I will get it done. And this person saying these things to me was someone who supposedly knows me well. So why the misguided statement?
Guess what. I find the concept of change to be an exciting one. Not scary, not unstable, not useless, not without aims or ambitions or faith or love or joy. In fact, I seek change.
Do not pity me because I have wholeheartedly embraced positive change. I understand that maybe we won't see eye to eye on this matter. But I hope, for your sake, that one day you will learn to see the beauty that exists in the difference of ideas.
Monday, February 13, 2012
This Emotional Life
This is the most perfect little video that you must watch right now. 2 minutes of Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) on how humans are dealing with their emotional lives, looking at it through Schopenhauer's Porcupine Dilemma.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_qhdPflUb8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_qhdPflUb8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Friday, February 10, 2012
How to be alone
Have I posted this video before? It's great. It follows nicely from what I wrote about below on being alone. Give it a go :)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Just sayin.
Life is unbearably quiet without you. And all I wanna do is dance with you under the stars to the music that exists only inside our minds.
Friday, February 3, 2012
On Being Alone
Alone
(On June 11, 2011, at Wat Pho, the Reclining Buddha temple, a man gives alms)
“What are you escaping from?”
Nothing.
“What are you looking for then?”
Nothing.
The idea of traveling for travel’s sake is difficult for many to understand. The journey, the concept of moving from one place to another, has always been more important to me than actually arriving somewhere. And for me, the best part of any journey is the time I spend alone. It’s those moment spent sitting on the train in the middle of the raw countryside in central Morocco watching the skinny grass-fed cows that stick with me. Mostly, it’s the reflection process that takes place in those moments. Reflecting on the days that past, the people I met, the conversations we had, the moments we created. Reflecting on the next few days, the hope of some more moving trials, the dream of interesting people, food, experiences, thoughts, ideas, of more chipping away of the shell. Reflecting on my life, my ambitions, the way my brain works, the way this life is supposed to turn out. This is at the heart of why I prefer to travel alone. This world is jam packed with incredible and interesting people and experiences, and I’ve been blessed to meet and know so many.
There is something about having that time to yourself that brings about a certain dialogue that can not exist in the presence of others - the dialogue with yourself. The emphasis seems to always be on fostering dialogue with others, which is important. But what about that internal conversation you never have? The one you always push away and tell to shush. The one you think is a negative invading process, that gut feeling, those ideas, voices, geniuses, whatever you want to call them. They’re there, waiting for you to perk up your ears and listen closely. Know very well that the less you understand about yourself, the less likely it is that you will ever truly know anything about others.
And so, spend time inside your own head, take long train rides alone, walk through busy markets with nothing but your thoughts, and maybe a camera or a notebook. Learn to spend 24 hours completely by yourself. Be balanced: you don’t need to disintegrate from society to do this, you just need to take some time off. Come to an understanding, and then keep that understanding and that conversation alive - with yourself. Unfortunately, there is a societal (mis)understanding that people who enjoy spending time alone must be introverted or shy or somehow dysfunctional. Because most of the world has no idea how to be comfortable inside their own heads, it shouldn’t influence your decisions. The word ‘alone’ becomes automatically translated into ‘lonely,’ which are two very different ideas, and is a clarification that everyone needs to understand well. Embrace yourself while working on embracing others. There is no reason to become a hermit in a desert cave to accomplish this. You can chose to stay home for a whole weekend, take a course without anyone you know, attend a concert by yourself, go for a swim, travel to the next city, country, continent, without knowing anyone there.
My dad recently warned me that I will soon become lonely in this way of life. He said it will become more difficult to keep up and in touch with friends and have a stable circle of loved ones, which is something I have already begun to experience. But it is not loneliness that I fear, it is not understanding who I am that keeps me awake at night. It seems the harder you try to carve your own path in this world, the less likely it is that someone will want to walk with you. The uphill trek to the top of the mountain - whatever that mountain may be - is a path by which most are either intimidated or discouraged. But find that courage anyway. Challenge that mountain, find the brave souls who are also scattered along the barren terrain, find the faint traces of the trails others have left before you and let them criss cross your own trail, and just keep pushing through, carving that path, making those new trails. Bring your eyes down from that peak and look right under your feet. And one day, you will realize that the best thing you ever did was that you stopped looking for something and had the ability to understand that the journey, and that dialogue with yourself, matter more than the destination. And that ultimately, each of us is on their journey alone.
(This article I wrote first appeared on the SpeakOut Poetry Blog on February 3, 2012: http://www.speakoutpoetry.com/building-bridges/alone/)
(On June 11, 2011, at Wat Pho, the Reclining Buddha temple, a man gives alms)“What are you escaping from?”
Nothing.
“What are you looking for then?”
Nothing.
The idea of traveling for travel’s sake is difficult for many to understand. The journey, the concept of moving from one place to another, has always been more important to me than actually arriving somewhere. And for me, the best part of any journey is the time I spend alone. It’s those moment spent sitting on the train in the middle of the raw countryside in central Morocco watching the skinny grass-fed cows that stick with me. Mostly, it’s the reflection process that takes place in those moments. Reflecting on the days that past, the people I met, the conversations we had, the moments we created. Reflecting on the next few days, the hope of some more moving trials, the dream of interesting people, food, experiences, thoughts, ideas, of more chipping away of the shell. Reflecting on my life, my ambitions, the way my brain works, the way this life is supposed to turn out. This is at the heart of why I prefer to travel alone. This world is jam packed with incredible and interesting people and experiences, and I’ve been blessed to meet and know so many.
There is something about having that time to yourself that brings about a certain dialogue that can not exist in the presence of others - the dialogue with yourself. The emphasis seems to always be on fostering dialogue with others, which is important. But what about that internal conversation you never have? The one you always push away and tell to shush. The one you think is a negative invading process, that gut feeling, those ideas, voices, geniuses, whatever you want to call them. They’re there, waiting for you to perk up your ears and listen closely. Know very well that the less you understand about yourself, the less likely it is that you will ever truly know anything about others.
And so, spend time inside your own head, take long train rides alone, walk through busy markets with nothing but your thoughts, and maybe a camera or a notebook. Learn to spend 24 hours completely by yourself. Be balanced: you don’t need to disintegrate from society to do this, you just need to take some time off. Come to an understanding, and then keep that understanding and that conversation alive - with yourself. Unfortunately, there is a societal (mis)understanding that people who enjoy spending time alone must be introverted or shy or somehow dysfunctional. Because most of the world has no idea how to be comfortable inside their own heads, it shouldn’t influence your decisions. The word ‘alone’ becomes automatically translated into ‘lonely,’ which are two very different ideas, and is a clarification that everyone needs to understand well. Embrace yourself while working on embracing others. There is no reason to become a hermit in a desert cave to accomplish this. You can chose to stay home for a whole weekend, take a course without anyone you know, attend a concert by yourself, go for a swim, travel to the next city, country, continent, without knowing anyone there.
My dad recently warned me that I will soon become lonely in this way of life. He said it will become more difficult to keep up and in touch with friends and have a stable circle of loved ones, which is something I have already begun to experience. But it is not loneliness that I fear, it is not understanding who I am that keeps me awake at night. It seems the harder you try to carve your own path in this world, the less likely it is that someone will want to walk with you. The uphill trek to the top of the mountain - whatever that mountain may be - is a path by which most are either intimidated or discouraged. But find that courage anyway. Challenge that mountain, find the brave souls who are also scattered along the barren terrain, find the faint traces of the trails others have left before you and let them criss cross your own trail, and just keep pushing through, carving that path, making those new trails. Bring your eyes down from that peak and look right under your feet. And one day, you will realize that the best thing you ever did was that you stopped looking for something and had the ability to understand that the journey, and that dialogue with yourself, matter more than the destination. And that ultimately, each of us is on their journey alone.
(This article I wrote first appeared on the SpeakOut Poetry Blog on February 3, 2012: http://www.speakoutpoetry.com/building-bridges/alone/)
The habits that crush us
On the very lovely Zen Habits website by Leo Babauta, I came across this interesting article: The Habits That Crush Us http://zenhabits.net/crush/
It's a different perspective on why we have all those unproductive (and often destructive) habits. Enjoy!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Question
When was the last time you had an intelligent conversation with yourself? Was it productive? Did you learn something new?
Did you feel weird?
Do it.
Did you feel weird?
Do it.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Reflection
Last week I tried to decorate my place. I've been living in London, UK, now for the past 5 months or so, and for me it seems like it has been quite a long time. My walls were bare and the place felt cold. But for some reason it didn't bother me. It feels like you can place me in pretty much any place with a bed and running water and I'll make it work. But 5 months on, it felt like the next logical step would be to try to make this place a bit more interesting. So I started to hang up some of my favorite items. My world map, my postcards, my calendar, my poster of two kittens cuddling, my Chinese-Arabic calligraphy map. I made a little shrine on top of the bookshelf of things I've collected from different countries, the three monkeys from Malaysia, the seashells from Brighton, the wooden jewellry box from Bahrain, and some other random stuff. I had a feeling being surrounded by my things would make the place feel more "homey." It felt necessary, like that's what big kids do when they move out. They hang things. They stare at their things. They enjoy staring at their little attempts at being adults who have finally started to settle down.
But it's just not working for me. I'm not sure why... It could be that I see this place as just another transitional location, technically my lease ends quite soon (but I'll be extending I think). Another part of me feels like all of this effort will just take too much time to take apart when I have to go again, I wont be able to just pick up my bags and go. And to be honest, it feels a little fake. I love looking at my things, they take me back to those moments. But I dont want to live in my past. I want to make new good memories! Which I'm trying to do. But that's like people who dwell on their past mistakes or their past good times and forget to live in the present, I dont want to get to that point. So why was hanging some of my stuff on my walls in my place such a strange experience? Maybe I just need time to get used to it... Then it'll be time to go again. Which I'm perfectly happy about actually. It's never about wanting to leave a place, it's just about wanting to go somewhere new and experiencing another life.
I guess only time will tell whether or not this little tree will ever allow herself some roots :)
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Poem
The hills
remind me
of you
Not because they curve soft and warm
lovely and firm
But because
a long time ago
you stared at them
as I am staring now.
- Irving Layton (1912 - 2006)
Quotes
Act with kindness but do not expect gratitude. - Confucius
Oh external worshiper, know that worship without heart is motions. Oh seeker of knowledge, know that knowledge without purification is a dangerous weapon of the ego. Oh activist, know that work without orientation if the heart is fruitless. Oh lover, know that love without God is pain. - Yasmin Mogahed
Monday, January 2, 2012
And...
It's all because she laughed too much and loved too much and took a chance on this world and took a leap of faith with you.. Too bad she landed alone among the thorns. And it's too bad youre not watching her still laugh and love and take chances and take leaps. Or are you? Where are you? That place you filled is emptying out. Or is it? She cant decide. To keep you or to let you go, to be better or to stay the same. But wasnt that what you did? Kept it together, made it better. Then it fell to pieces. Why? Not the leap of faith imagined. And all she did was wonder if a good thing could get better, not best, yet, but better. But you showed her how to rebuild those walls and then disappeared. And left her standing across the moat slightly confused, disoriented, not sure whether to laugh or cry, love or hate, take a chance or hide behind the walls, take a leap or grow those roots. And yet she stands, watching that horizon, waiting for a sign. But her mouth is itching for that Laugh, her heart for that Love, her soul for that Chance, her legs for that Leap. And she wont be able to resist them for long...
Monday, December 26, 2011
Thoughts
Satan rejoiced when Adam (peace be upon him) came out of Paradise, but he did not know that when a diver sinks into the sea, he collects pearls and then rises again.
- Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah
Do not be so arrogant as to believe that you have deduced all the answers from your own reason and no longer need to learn from others.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
To summarize...
Dear everyone,
All politicians are liars. They all play dirty games. They're all disgusting on one level or another. They are not saints or angels and they never will be. None of them. Stop placing your hope in the wrong place. Your role as a citizen is to wisely chose the one who will do the least amount of damage. As soon as you believe this fact, you will live a better life by learning to work from the bottom up and you will stop trying to make politics better - that is a losing battle and always will be. Change the things around you that you can change and stop expecting a savior to come along and fix your problems. Stop that stream of thought and I promise you will be a happier person.
Love, BB.
All politicians are liars. They all play dirty games. They're all disgusting on one level or another. They are not saints or angels and they never will be. None of them. Stop placing your hope in the wrong place. Your role as a citizen is to wisely chose the one who will do the least amount of damage. As soon as you believe this fact, you will live a better life by learning to work from the bottom up and you will stop trying to make politics better - that is a losing battle and always will be. Change the things around you that you can change and stop expecting a savior to come along and fix your problems. Stop that stream of thought and I promise you will be a happier person.
Love, BB.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
What's Happening?
I am once again in Cairo.
I was here January - May of this year during the Jan 25 Revolution. It's been twelve months and what has happened? I wonder if much has actually changed at all. I was with a friend today and the following conversation took place. Keep in mind that this friend is a well educated woman who has been born and bred in Egypt and is now a full time professional, is young, pro-revolution, quite liberal on the political spectrum, and also runs a household.
We had been discussing the productivity of certain countries in the world, and that conversation naturally led to the "state Egypt is in now", which led to a general venting about how all politicians on this planet are liars and full of shit and that each citizen's role was to wisely chose the one who will do the least amount of damage possible. And the interesting part was when she said:
We don't deserve a good government.
Why?
Because we are not good people. We are lazy, we don't want to work or do anything, but we want money and lots of it. All we do is sit at street cafes and talk talk talk, mostly about things we have no idea about, and then keep on mismanaging our own lives. Garbage mentalities can not be changed through a good government. The Egyptian people have been used to only following orders. We have had military men rule us for the last eight decades. The only thing we know how to do is to follow orders. Nothing will ever change until we start doing something about it and change ourselves first and go out and work and be productive people.
Interesting point of view, no? Ya I thought so too. There is definitely truth in there. However, my question is: what about the people given more opportunities than others? Where are those people and what are they doing to change themselves and to better the lives around them? Aren't they also a part of that culture that sits around Nawady (sporting clubs - the rich equivalent of street cafes) and talk talk talk, also about things they mostly don't know much about? Im not trying to point a blaming finger. All Im asking is, if youve pinpointed the solution, what are you personally doing about it?
Everyone, inside and outside Egypt, who cares anything for Egypt, justice, freedom, and peace, needs to do something. Anything. If this revolution is to change anything at all, it should change the way people view their roles in this world and define the extents to which they are willing to go to see the fruits of their actions.
I was here January - May of this year during the Jan 25 Revolution. It's been twelve months and what has happened? I wonder if much has actually changed at all. I was with a friend today and the following conversation took place. Keep in mind that this friend is a well educated woman who has been born and bred in Egypt and is now a full time professional, is young, pro-revolution, quite liberal on the political spectrum, and also runs a household.
We had been discussing the productivity of certain countries in the world, and that conversation naturally led to the "state Egypt is in now", which led to a general venting about how all politicians on this planet are liars and full of shit and that each citizen's role was to wisely chose the one who will do the least amount of damage possible. And the interesting part was when she said:
We don't deserve a good government.
Why?
Because we are not good people. We are lazy, we don't want to work or do anything, but we want money and lots of it. All we do is sit at street cafes and talk talk talk, mostly about things we have no idea about, and then keep on mismanaging our own lives. Garbage mentalities can not be changed through a good government. The Egyptian people have been used to only following orders. We have had military men rule us for the last eight decades. The only thing we know how to do is to follow orders. Nothing will ever change until we start doing something about it and change ourselves first and go out and work and be productive people.
Interesting point of view, no? Ya I thought so too. There is definitely truth in there. However, my question is: what about the people given more opportunities than others? Where are those people and what are they doing to change themselves and to better the lives around them? Aren't they also a part of that culture that sits around Nawady (sporting clubs - the rich equivalent of street cafes) and talk talk talk, also about things they mostly don't know much about? Im not trying to point a blaming finger. All Im asking is, if youve pinpointed the solution, what are you personally doing about it?
Everyone, inside and outside Egypt, who cares anything for Egypt, justice, freedom, and peace, needs to do something. Anything. If this revolution is to change anything at all, it should change the way people view their roles in this world and define the extents to which they are willing to go to see the fruits of their actions.
Fire
It's that moment you experience the hard way that too much of a good thing can only be bad. Set fire to that rain. And then drop it.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Hadith
"A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breath in the fumes of the furnace."
[Bukhari and Muslim]
Sunday in Leicester
For a town that's really not that big, it's got lots of character. Just under 3 hours by bus north of London.
Reunions with old friends.
Christmas gospel carolers.
Shopping.
Sunsetting.
American diner milkshakes and burgers.
Monday, November 28, 2011
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